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Now that your father has died, you wonder why you don’t cry. If so, you may have cried both for the dog and also that it marked the ending of a precious time in your life. Although I don’t know you well enough to unravel what made you who you are, it’s certainly possible your dog’s death may have been associated with the end of your childhood. And when your dog died, you were in your 20s, a time when people start truly becoming adults. Some movies are arranged to make people cry that’s their purpose. You write that you cried when your dog died and you also cry at certain movies. I wonder if there were times in your early life when you were unhappy, and now you’ve reached equilibrium. What does it mean? Then I thought, “dried up” implies that what was wet before is dry now. You dubbed yourself “Dried Up.” I was surprised when I read that.
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Whatever our feelings or, more accurately, mixture of our feelings, we will be affected-some people more, some less, some more openly expressive, some less.
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That means we will cry or not, feel sad or not, feel free or not, feel glad or not. Dried UpĪ parent’s passing can be a momentous time in one’s life-and assuming we know and outlive them, we all experience it eventually. Would it be helpful to try to make myself cry? Does crying need to be a part of grief? I don’t want to draw the grief process out unnecessarily if I can instead just move forward. But I do wonder why I’m not reacting more strongly, and whether I should be doing something to make myself move through grief more. So at least some good has come out of my apathy. Meanwhile, I’ve been the one with a clear head on my shoulders to help our mother arrange the memorial, get her finances in order, etc. My two siblings are grieving in “normal” ways, and they definitely think I’m some kind of monster for not crying at all, especially at the funeral. We’d grown apart in recent years, but I have positive memories from my childhood when my dad was around and not away for military service, as he often was. And it’s not like I hated my dad, either. So it makes me feel even worse that I was able to express some emotion at those times and not now, at a clearly more impactful loss. And I cried when my childhood dog died in my 20s.
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In general I don’t consider myself a very emotional person, though I’ve been known to shed a tear at sad movies. I’ve tried, because it seems like the thing to do, and because people have been telling me things like, “You just have to let it out,” or, “You’ll feel so much better afterward.” In fact, I haven’t cried at all since he passed. It was an emotional day, to say the least … but I didn’t even come close to crying. Tears were shed, handshakes and hugs were exchanged, and memories were shared. He touched many lives and was well-known around town, so hundreds of people showed up to pay respects. I recently attended my father’s funeral, which was a very large gathering with family, friends, and people in the community.
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